I have been inspired by several people to start a web page that will reach out to those that have never met, or those who have never been able to have a complete relationship with a biological parent, or child. I have some big ideas, and it is my hope that the information that I post will be informative and helpful. Please check back for updates periodically as I will be changing this page as time goes by.
You may ask why I would have an interest in this. My story is below and I hope that this page will inspire those that are scared of the unknown, will have healing and an open heart.
So many of us go through life with blinders on, and some of us go through life trying to take in every moment we can, just so we don't miss a thing. Well, I have been the person trying to take in every little detail of every day, for most of my adult life. The greatest accomplishment of my life has not been the accolades I have received for being an entertainer or the numerous people I can call friend, but that of being a daddy. I have not been a perfect father, as I like everyone else, never got the instruction manual as to how to be a daddy. I can say though, that my daughters have never had to wonder whether or not, their father loved them or would protect them. My Ashley and my Grace, are the apple of my eye. I have had the benefit of spending more time with them, than most fathers do with their kids, and for that I feel blessed and grateful. I have been married to their mama for nearly 20 years and we have made a great home for them. But there has been something missing in my life, another daughter.
I spent most of my younger days looking and searching for someone or something that would make me complete, as I experienced a lot of depression that back then, wasn't so easily acknowledged or medicated. As a teenager, I required a lot of attention and used to date around quite a bit trying to fill those voids I had in my heart. I had a a couple of relationships that I thought would last forever, then one that was not healthy from the beginning. She came with problems and adding that to the ones that I had, made for a very bad situation. Although this person brought out the worst in me, and was equally at fault for that, she did not deserve the abusive behavior I displayed in the midst of my anger and hurt. No woman deserves that. I tried to return the hurt and anger that I felt she was the reason for, and that was wrong.
One day, in the midst of all of this turmoil, She told me she was pregnant. I feared that she would end the pregnancy and I wanted to marry her, but that would not be in the cards and would have not been smart. It wasn't long after, I was told that the child wasn't mine, but that of another boy she had previously been seeing.
It wasn't long after that, her family just disappeared and I began working as an Elvis Impersonator professionally, and met my soon-to-be bride at the time, in Chicago. Through the years, I reached out to people that knew her, and would try to ask about the baby and whether she was mine. They were always instructed to tell me no. In the early 90's, I always had contacts that could find information for me, and it wasn't long until I knew where they were living and working. I have e-mails dating back to that time that I would send to the mother, she would continually tell me that I was not the father and that she belonged to the guy she had dated. I never completely bought this, but she would always be very nice and would-mail me from time to time out the blue. just to check in, but never going as far as telling me anything about the child. It wasn't until late 2009, that I was able to see pictures of this beautiful young lady as well as talk to the man I was told was the father, that I found out she was mine. One of my daughters reached out to her and has communicated some, but not as much as she would like.
I would love to see her or talk to her someday, but I question whether or not that will happen anytime soon, and that is ok. I want it to be her call, and I do not want to pressure her as she is a young lady and this is probably a lot to deal with. I understand that she has always known about me and most of what she has heard about me, has been bad. I just want her to know that I am here unconditionally, for as much or as little relationship as she desires.